SICKA THAN AVERAGE

Sale Alert!!! Nancy Koltes At Home Warehouse Sale

You don't have to be pregnant or shacking up with your boo to go through a nesting period. If your home is your castle, don't let the spot look like a torture chamber, a'ight? And unless you actually live in a dorm, there's no reason for all that collegiate furniture (no bean bags, Jaffa blocks, bead curtains and mismatched towels, ok?). Nah, get your grown woman on with some luxe linens and home accessories by designer Nancy Koltes, who is hosting her first-ever warehouse sale. Koltes' designs have an all-American sensibility thanks to their clean lines, crisp hues, and understated embellishments. Made in Italy, her linens are cozy, plush and - of course - dripping with elegance. Just take a look at these ecru and white Ikebana Towels -- don't you just want to drape yourself in one of these flowered towels? Well, now you can -- without feeling any buyers' remorse. The Nancy Koltes at Home sale kicked off yesterday and will go on until Aug. 10th, and items are available for up to 80% off retail. Don't you just love a good sale?

Ikebana Towels (pictured above): bath sheet, $69 (regularly $138) and bath towel, $34 (regularly $68). Available at Nancy Koltes stores in New York City, Beverly Hills, Laguna Beach, Charleston, Mill Valley, Denver and Haverford. For more information and store locations, visit NancyKoltesAtHome.com

Light A Candle

Don't wait for your electricity to get shut off before discovering the wonder of candles. None of that "wham-bam-thank-you-m'aam" stuff (well, unless you're in a rush to get to work or you're trying to get it in while in a public place). You'd be surprised how much romance a little candlelight can add...

But let me get my mind out the gutter. Truth is, we should all take a minute or two to meditate and unwind -- and there's something about sitting in a candlelit room, alone with your thoughts, that seems to foster the process of finding and nurturing your inner goddess.

So, as I applaud self-contemplation, I'll now move on to praising Kayaa, a home decor and furnishings company that offers quaint, handcrafted products from India. I'm particularly infatuated with these two candles, which are hand painted in a traditional henna design and adorned with Swarovski crystals. Dubbed "Mehendi" candles, they're named after the traditional Middle Eastern practice of painting one's hands and feet with a paste made from henna plant leaves (I'm sure you've seen people with their faux sepia-colored tattoos). Each candle is made of 100% paraffin wax and contains a replaceable soy tea light, so you don't have to worry about burning away its beauty.

$49 each. Visit http://www.kayaahome.com

Right Said Fred

The right pillow can make your bedroom the ultimate Field Of Dreams-style, ultra sexy boudoir (as Miranda once said on Sex and the City, that whole "if you build it, they will come" mantra can apply to bedrooms too). A nicely decorated bedroom will up your swag factor 'cause, in your heart, you'll know you rest your head at every saucy diva's ideal room. To me, the right bedding and pillows set the entire mood for a bedroom. So do you really want to go to Macy's and get that same comforter everyone else has? Or, worse yet, go on an El Cheapo stint and buy some bed-in-a-bag concoction from Kmart? No, no, no. If your home is your castle, don't go decorating it like a shack or a den, a'ight?

Even if you're tackling the great living room redecoration, some nice pillows will spice up an otherwise plain couch, divan, or sofa and add a surge of color to an otherwise drab space.

But back to getting the perfect pillow for your pad. Fred Red NY, a hot new line debuting this spring, offers some luxurious, candy-colored leather pillows that take old standby patterns (argyle and stripes, for example) and update them with contemporary and innovative color schemes (blush pink and black, crisp white and marigold yellow, etc.) and bold details like rhinestone buckles and pyramid-shaped zippers bearing the company logo.

One of my favorite pieces is this turquoise and gold pillow (I'm infatuated with turquoise at the moment!) The gold-and-blue contrast has this tropical feel, but it still oozes luxury and sophistication (for some reason, Donatella Versace pops into my head when I look at it). The point is: these are beyond fly so, if you want to splurge on some quality pillows, look no further. Just don't even contemplate the idea of a pillow fight with these, ok?

$495; Visit http://www.fredredny.com

Growing Pains

I won't front like I have a green thumb (if we go by traffic lights, where green means go, mine is friggin' red), but these are so cute I may just have to have anothe go at caring for a plant. These "herb growing tater pots" measure 2.5" x 3" and come pre-packaged with soil and seeds to grow oregano, basil, or mint (Hmm...I think I'll try oregano...). Think about it: you can cook and add a bit of your home-grown herbs -- that's going straight Top Chef with it!

Each tater pot is sold separately -- the red pot with the winking face contains oregano seeds, the smiling blue pot (well, his mouth is open, so he could be talking...) comes with basil , and the orange one with the crooked smile comes with mint seeds. They're all adorable, so I say collect all three. Happy planting!

$14 each. Visit http://www.fredflare.com

Guns 'N' Roses

As much as I hate guns and I shiver at the thought of ever having one in my house (no Saturday night specials over here, thank ya very much!), I'm kinda fascinated by items with gun motifs -- well, as long as they're tasteful and playful (cool necklaces, rings, shirts, etc.). Maybe it's how I release my inner Reservoir Dog or something... But before I further psychoanalyze myself, let's talk about this slammin' 7-inch triple gun vase, made of white ceramic. Basically, the idea is to fill each barrel with water and place flowers in there (side note: the vase does come with artificial flowers, but they look kinda janky so you may want to rethink that). If you think about it, the concept is pretty amazing -- instead of shooting bullets , this vase figuratively "sprouts" flowers, thus taking the notion of guns as tools of death and turning it on its head. Guess Axl Rose was on to something when he put the guns and roses ideas together, huh? Now you can pack heat without worrying about any shoot-outs.

$54. Visit http://www.mcachicagostore.org or http://store.sprouthome.com

Preferred Seating

Now you can be in the hot seat without it meaning touble. This vintage aqua dining chair from Jayson Home & Garden's "Vintage Glam" collection will make your future (and home) look rather bright. The chair was re-upholstered in cream burlap, but the aqua paint is slightly chipped (but, overall, it's in pretty outstanding condition). Hey, that's what vintage finds are all about -- getting that "lived in" quality without the item looking like it was trampled. Four chairs are available, so you can splurge on an entire dining room set. Think about it: if your dinner guests are seated on these beauties, they might just forget (or at least forgive) you your awful cooking.

$350/chair. Visit http://www.jaysonhomeandgarden.com

City Slick

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For its third collection of "city plates," Not Neutral chose the theme Capital Migration. The four cities featured are: Melbourne, St. Petersburg, New York and Brasilia — all centers of economic power rife with cultural activity and all growing in population.

The porcelain plates measure 12" and are dishwasher safe. Each plate illustrates the city's downtown core against a black background, with rivers represented in blue, key buildings depicted as red icons and public spaces shown in green.

The first plate pictured above represents New York City, one of the most densely populated cities in the world. NYC boasts 8.2 million residents, and it continues to have a tremendous impact in the realms of finance, politics, arts, fashion, theater and more, which explains why it was chosen for the series. The second plate pictured here depicts St. Petersburg, which has a population of 4.7 million, and which served as Russia's imperial capital for over 200 years (since Peter the Great founded the city in 1703 and transferred the government there from Moscow in 1712).

Brasilia, meanwhile, became Brazil's capital in 1960 and boasts a very futuristic urban design that has appealed to the estimated 2.5 million people who reside there. Melbourne (population 3.7 million) was chosen because of its key role as an artistic and fashion hub and because of its gorgeous landscape -- from the famous Port Phillip (which made Melbourne a strategically important location on the financial front) to the railroads built in the 19th century to its many ample gardens and parks.

If you're an urban landscaper, a geology/history buff, or an admirer of modern design, you'll love this quirky collection. Hey, if nothing else, it wil/ give your dinner guests something to stare at while they wait for their grub.

$50 each; Visit http://www.notneutral.com

Write Away!

Call me old-school but despite us being in a digital era (where almost everyone jots down notes on their Blackberrys or any other snazzy handheld devices), there's a precious quality to writing your thoughts down on paper. Think about the journals that have played such an important role in history: from the diary of Anne Frank to those of Lewis Carroll and Virginia Woolf. Or think of how we fawn over the hand-written poems of the late Tupac Shakur. Staring at those writings, visceral as they are, and analyzing the handwriting of each person (how they curl some letters, or the direction in which each word slants), makes us feel like we're being given some insight into their psyches and souls. Do you think that, if 20 or 30 years from now, we find the Sidekick notes of, say, Jay-Z or Madonna, they'll be regarded with the same reverence? I personally have a hard time seeing it.

Yup, call me nostalgic, but I like jotting down my musings on paper. And, if I'm gonna go that route, I might as well use a journal that reflects my personal style -- not some nasty office notepad in a nauseated yellow color. So if you're into funky designs, you'll probably appreciate these quaint journals by Saturate Design. The "Bling" journal features a hand-silkscreened gold-and-silver design on a 4.25" x 5.25" journal full of blank ivory pages (no lines here, so make sure you're not drunken when writing or all your sentences will come out in a weird angle!). The size is really convenient -- you won't run out of pages right away, but it's also small enough to carry in your average tote. The second design, "Favorite," features a hand-silkscreened gold horse (which looks like it ran off from a carousel!) and a cherry-colored banner with the word "Favorite." So take your pick: do you want to be a free spirit, "whose gonna ride your wild horses?" type of chick or a "diamonds are forever" dame? Either way, there's a journal to suit you.

$9 each. Visit http://www.luxepaperie.com

Hello Brooklyn

If you go crazy whenever Jay-Z shouts out his native borough (reality check, people: he ain't in Marcy and Poppa Knowles wouldn't let his precious baby girl go anywhere near there), then you'll absolutely love this Brooklyn Bridge Cushion, made by Maison de Vacances. The 12" x 8" pillow features the word "Go" over a black backdrop and, within the confines of each letter, we get a straight-ahead view of the Brooklyn Bridge. The effect is pretty spectacular: lookers-on feel like they're actually on the Bridge, swerving in between traffic, the steely sides of the bridge looming in your peripheral vision. It's a little pricey but, if you've got that much borough loyalty, you may want to invest.

$105 per pillow. Visit http://www.viamarisnyc.com

Monkey See, Monkey Do

These adorable ceramic mugs and plates come to you via Brastilo, a new home furnishings and accessories line inspired by Brazilian culture. And don't fret -- this ain't a group of culture-jacking folks. The multiracial and multicultural design team includes native Brazilians Fernando Jaeger and Auzer de Castro Junior.

The eco-friendly company offers everything from floor lamps to accent rugs, wood vases, flatware, media consoles, bookcases, chairs, and more. The wood materials used by Brastilo hail from carefully-managed forests in southern Brazil (the company cultivates over 4500 acress of pine forest a year) and each furniture piece is entirely renewable and eco-friendy. They also minimize carbon emissions during the manufacturing process, furthering their commitment to environmentally-friendly practices.

Oh, and for those of you who just wanna have some cool ish, bust this: each design (including these monkey mugs and plates) are handmade and therefore available in limited quantities. Which means no one can swagger jack you.

Peep the line at http://www.brastilo.com